Why is My Baby Waking Up All Night?
Yesterday I went to lunch with a dear friend of mine, and after catching up on the essentials (Bachelorette, anyone?) she said "Jessalyn, I'm feeling kind of defeated. My baby has perfect wake windows, he's eating and growing, he knows how to fall asleep independently, but he will not stay asleep for the life of me." Sound familiar?
Well, after doing some digging (I kind of feel like a detective 🕵🏻♀️ when I do this, especially in consultations. Not mad about it!) she said that her baby keeps making noises and grunting in the night, so in fear of him waking up, she hurries over to him, pops the binky in to help him "stay asleep", and within minutes he's awake and crying. This entire process repeats over and over throughout the night.
First, I assured her she wasn't alone. I work 1:1 with clients all.the.time who explain this exact scenario to me. So if if this is you, you're not alone.
Now, I'm going to tell you exactly what I told my friend....so here comes the tough love😅. Don't hate me for saying this, but 99% of the time, the thing that is causing this wake-ups is you😬. Hear me out!
Every time I wake up in the night, I can easily roll over and go back to sleep. However, every time I wake up in the night and see my toddler standing over me (is there anything more terrifying!? No, no there is not), it takes me SO much longer to go back to sleep. Why? Because a. it's alarming and b. there was a social interaction that my body and mind had to wake up for!
Remember, babies are humans, too! So if they are grunting and making noises in the night as they transition through sleep cycles, if you give them some space, chances are they would totally surprise you and fall back asleep on their own — especially if they know how to fall asleep at bedtime. But if you're constantly hovering over them and anticipating a waking, they will likely see you, smell you, interact with you, and therefore fully wake up. The longer this happens, the more it becomes a habit.
If your baby is waking up constantly, struggling to fall asleep at bedtime, taking short naps and everything in between, that's different — and we should talk. But if everything else is in place and you are interfering with their sleep, I strongly encourage you to take a step back, breathe, and watch the magic happen.
You’ve got this, mama!